I feel like I'm fighting on my own
Like I just can't get enough
Of the dying and the lying

I hate myself. I hate everything. You all know this. You all seem to. Warning each other of my passing, pretending to be my little pets to get your just-deserved. You think I can take this? You think I like being so cold? I don't know how else to act. In the Real World, this place of bottled-up sobs and inward toils it keep all my emotions. Just for you. I feel like I'm fighting my own war, but I'm not supposed to. It's like I keep getting shot down in friendly fires and cross-fires, like I keep getting in the way. It's hopeless I know, it's sad I know. I don't know what else to do, how else to act. I'm deteriorating. I'm disintegrating. The acids of words have finally hit the mark, ripping away at my barrier. my shields. She said she loved me. She'd stay for me. She'd care for me.

She lied.


He said he was there for me when I fell back, that he would always be my brother, always be my friend.

He lied.

She said that she loved 'little Razzy' and that she would always. She'd take care of me, get my back in a fight.

She lied.

They all lied. So many lies, so little time. So little ROOM . It's like I can't stop screaming, but I can't start either. I'm screaming in my head, raging sorrow twisted pains, but you can't hear me. You can't read my mind. I'm hurting, I'm bleeding, I'm twisting I'm screaming. I rant, I vent, but really it doesn't help. You all know me. Hell, most of you ask me to fake a smile just for you. Why the hell would I do that? Hide everywhere? Lie everywhere? I'm not this cold, I'm not this mean. Most of you are bitches so why get to know me? I'm dramatic, I'm stupid, is that all you've got? Is that all you've seen? No it's not, so shut your mouth and sit down. You all say you love me.

You're not serious. It'll die in the future. Nothing is eternal, nothing but this pain. Ease it! Someone! I beg you!